Mas Puto

Guest post by Andrew H:

The story of Guatemala and all of Central America today is a sad one. From what I’ve seen, Guatemala is a dualistic country with breathtaking scenery, amazing food, incredibly wealthy families, terrible poverty, and illogical routines. Guatemala is a land of untapped potential. Take for example the movement of goods and equipment. Countless times I have seen people making long trips carrying hundreds of pounds, traveling on the side of the road or through towns. These trips would take little manpower and between 5 and 10 minutes with the aid of a pickup truck. But because of the extreme poverty there is no pickup truck… and maybe, even if there were a pickup truck, it wouldn’t be used (this last part is more of a joke with a slight hint of truth).

While it may seem odd, there is twisted reasoning behind this seeming lack of common sense. Here in guatemala, people enjoy tradition and seizing the moment; they do not enjoy planning ahead or searching for ways to make their job easier or more efficient. It seems like everything goes at a snails pace. I can’t even begin to enumerate the number of times I have waited forever for service in an empty restaurant. Yesterday, in fact, while in Antigua, I was eating with Tony and Mariana and ordered a plato tipico (a typical dish of grilled chicken, beans, guacamole, tortillas, and rice). What I should have realized before ordering, however, is that the word tipico also extends to the service that one experiences throughout much of Guatemala; the food arrived promptly about an hour later. This experience simply mimics others such as ordering the simplest breakfast item on the menu at a gas station convenience store called “On the Run” (I joked with Tony that this is where the Narcos must eat breakfast… stressing the importance of good translation). After a 10 minute ordeal that nearly exhausted all of my patience, I had a delicious egg and cheese croissant. While I would like to say that I will never again attempt to get breakfast there, my acculturation is leading me to disregard the knowledge that I need to plan for breakfast in favor of more sleep.

For those of you who are wondering about the title, check out George Lopez’s stand up act (around 1:20 starts the reference):